I thank God for His calling on my life. The call to care for and disciple His people is a high and worthy calling. I imagine most pastors believe this.
But why is it that so many pastors and their families are depressed? Recently, I heard a statistic that suggested that more than 33% of all pastors are either clinically depressed, or are recovering from depression.
The divorce rate among families in ministry is surprisingly high, and everybody "knows" (or opines) that "Preacher's Kids" are the worst-behaved in any church. What's wrong with this picture?
I've been in ministry for the better part of three decades, and I have other family members in full-time pastoral ministry also. We've all had to battle through some of these difficult dynamics over the years. And, I wish I could say I had personally overcome all obstacles and have broken into the "sunshine of my ministry" phase of life.
The fact is, some days are better than others, and like anybody else, I have to sometimes fight to find encouragement or motivation to keep going. I've had friends in ministry who have lost their faith, lost their way, lost their family ... some have died young and brokenhearted. I am praying for grace to stay the course, and to be more than just a survivor - I want to have more joy in what I do.
It hurts deeply when you see your wife cry or your child cry because someone in the church - ostensibly a person you are supposed to be caring for - has treated them badly. There are times when you can and must confront people in your church, but any pastor who has done so recognizes that these confrontations are not often easy.
And if you constantly have to confront people in the church about the dumb or cruel things they say or do to your own family, what does that mean? I know that my family and I are far from perfect, but I also know the sincerity of heart, faithfulness of effort, fervency of prayer, and depth of love that we put forth.
When a church member is "jealous" of their pastor's wife or child, or seeks to get at the pastor by belittling his family, it creates a nasty situation. People think that pastors are constrained in their responses, and therefore people can act badly with impugnity.
No wonder so many pastors get weary or feel hopeless; no wonder marriages in ministry become frayed; no wonder so many pastor's kids want nothing to do with church.
I am so thankful for a patient and loving wife and a child whose love for God, His Kingdom, and His Church transcends the poor attidudes of a few of His people. We want the people under our care to be blessed, to have a "successful" ministry and a vibrant church ... but not at the expense of our family.
By His grace, I will not walk away from His flock. By His call and His Spirit, I will be a good shepherd and not a hireling; and a good husband and father as well.
